I woke up early, before anyone else. I immediately went to the kitchen to search for any remaining vodka. There was none. I saw my unopened bottle of wine on the counter. I opened it and swallowed a big gulp. Then, I poured a massive cup to inhale before I laid back down to sleep. I dozed off for a few hours. I was awakened by the kids handing me my Mother's Day presents. I read sweet handmade cards as Eric brought me breakfast in bed. I hugged my babies and Eric and told them thank you. Bentley said to me, "mommy, you fell asleep on the porch last night." My heart dropped. I did not remember. I assume Eric woke me up and helped me inside. I felt like the worst mama on planet earth. I hated myself for letting my babies see me like that. I went to the bathroom to cry. After, I laid back in bed with Bentley watching cartoons. I fell back asleep. Later, I woke up, dressed myself, and told Eric and the kids I was running to the "store" and to grab us something to eat. I never returned.
I did not feel intoxicated when I left the house. Obviously, from the wine earlier, I am sure my blood alcohol level was still high. I called my mom as I drove to the liquor store to tell her Happy Mother's Day. We talked for a few minutes as I played like life was good. At this point, my mom did not know I had relapsed, and my father was not speaking to me. My daddy was mad that I had chosen to work things out with Eric and would repeat the cycle. He was right...I did...until I let God in my marriage.
I purchased a bottle of wine for myself and for Eric; along with each of us mini shots of 100 proof vodka. It was our usual purchase. As soon as I sat in my car, I twisted the top off of a mini vodka and shot it. I instantly felt better. I thought, tonight will be a good night. We can chill, eat a good dinner, and watch a movie together. A few minutes later, my plan came to a halt. I drove around trying to find a restaurant and figure out what exactly I wanted to eat. I took another shot. And another shot as I sat in my car parked at a restaurant. I was highly intoxicated. I barely ate anything for breakfast, nothing for lunch, and very little the day before. I got out of my car, walked to the bar area of this restaurant to order food to-go. I ordered the food and ordered a glass of wine as I waited. I nodded out while sitting at the bar. I 'came to' by the bartender telling me she could not serve me the glass of wine. That woke me up! I grabbed my purse and walked out. I proceeded to head home. On the way home, which was a five-minute drive, as I approached the gate, I turned the car too quickly and drove up the nearby embankment. I freaked out. I adjusted the gear shift to reverse, and it would not budge. My first impulse was to run because I knew the police would be called. I had an active- warrant, no license, and was intoxicated. Bad combination. I ran and hid. By the way, not very far and not very disguised. After about twenty minutes, I was found and read my Miranda Rights. They were very cautious wearing masks and asked me if I had been pre-exposed to covid- this was when the whole United States was shut down due to Covid-19. I said, "yes." Which was not a lie. My granny and my mama became infected, and I had seen them a few weeks earlier at Easter. I was looking for a "get out of jail free card!" That did not happen. I was not very cooperative. I refused all sobriety tests. Firetrucks and police were everywhere. When I was taken to the jail, I was placed in a very small cell by myself. An officer opened the door and asked me to blow in the breathalyzer. I said, "no."
It was a whirlwind.
I was a firecracker when arrested and did not cooperate with the procedures. Especially if the officer was being an a$$hole. A few minutes passed, another officer opened the door and handed me a piece of paper to sign. I refused, tore the paper in half and told him to f*ck off. Minutes later, the officer returns with a paper held in his hand and said, "Mims, I have a warrant from the judge for your blood to be drawn." I stared blankly at him as he told me to stand up with my hands in front of me. Him and two other officers walked me to a big jailcell- the exact same cell that I sat in from my Halloween arrest. One exception, the cell, I kid you not, was full of at least twenty officers all gathered around one black chair located in the middle of the cell. My adrenaline had already kicked in. I was no longer in a sleep state-of-mind. I was fully aware and awake. I thought, "what in the hell do they think I am going to do?" Maybe they were all bored and wanted to get in on the action if the drunk blonde-girl tried to fight the nurse! Which I did not do. I was a little scared when I walked in and saw the officers with head gear on surrounding the black chair. It looked like something out of a movie. I calmly sat down and showed the nurse my good vein. After my blood was drawn, I was escorted back to the cell. Moments later, I was escorted down hallways of the jail that were unfamiliar. I had been escorted to the "covid unit." A lady officer walked me in a small room with my army green jumpsuit in hand, white socks, white granny panties and sports bra. I un-dressed in front of her. There was blood all over my shirt from my elbow that had been scraped when I had run away from the accident. There I stood numb, going through the motions. I was nauseated, in a state of guilt and shame I would not wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy. After I dressed, another officer walked in and bandaged my elbow. Then I was escorted to my holding cell. The front of the cell was all glass. It was very loud, bright, and I felt personally invaded. I laid on the bed curled up in fetal position and cried my eyes out as I thought of my babies and how I did not come home. I stood up multiple times and vomited yellow liquid. There was nothing in my stomach; I was very sick. I was extremely sick physically, mentally, and spiritually. As much as I felt the hatred from Eric and his family; I can promise you that...I hated me more. I thought back to the very first shot I had taken that lead me into this particular relapse and how I knew better. I did not know what was wrong with me and why God allowed this to happen. Hours passed by. I then was awoken by a Japanese doctor that I could not understand. He was speaking to me through the glass window with very little English. I repeated, " I do not have covid! I was exposed to it about a month ago." We both were increasingly agitated. I yelled out for an officer. "I want my phone call." Hours later an officer opened my cell, handed me the piece of paper of my charges; I was flabbergasted! "You have to be f*cking kidding me right now. Six?"