After 13 days, the day of my release from the psychiatric unit had come. I woke that morning consumed with anxiety and flabbergasted that I had to fight for my freedom. At 9:30 am I walked to the small conference room where I sat at the same table, I had previous had my consult with the addiction counselor. The judge came on the screen. My appointed lawyer spoke on my behalf. The judge granted my request. I was free. I may have been free from the nut house, but I was far from free. After it was over, I called Katelyn to come get me. My plan was for her to drive me back to Atlanta. I had a few hiccups to overcome. All that was on my mind was a cigarette and a drink.
Katelyn picked me up. We stopped by a gas station as she scrambled to find change to buy my cigarettes. My dad had my debit card and phone. No one knew I had been released. After, I had her stop by my daddy's office in Montgomery. He was not there. I was looking for my purse and phone. I noticed my vehicle locked up behind his fence where he kept equipment. He already traveled to Buford, GA to obtain my car from impound. I checked my car and grabbed a couple of clothes that were left behind and was sickened by the molded pizza that laid in my passenger seat. I called my daddy and he said, "the doctor told me he would inform me before you were discharged." I told him I was out, and I needed my purse and phone. He asked who I was with and what my plan was. He was at his home in Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. He cussed at me about my vehicle and told me his secretary was not giving me money. I informed him I was going back to Georgia. He wished me good luck without money and my phone. He told me to go to my mom's house until he got back in town. I hung up the phone. I did not want to hear anything else he had to say. I got back in the car with Katelyn and her infant son. I told her if she could get me to Georgia, I would be able to get to my bank account to release my funds to pay her. Alabama did not have my bank. She told me she needed to get money for gas from her mom and she could probably get me there the next day. We went to her house. First thing I did was grab the bottle of whiskey from her outside freezer located on her back screen-in porch. She did not care. She was a very sweet girl that I took advantage of. I feel bad about that now. After, I played with her son and started to clean her trailer. It was messy. I could tell she had been living in severe depression where crap was everywhere. Nothing was clean. I wanted to help her, so I cleaned.
She left with her son to attend a celebrate recovery meeting. She was meeting her baby daddy there. While she was away; I listened to music, cleaned her whole house washing clothes and throwing out garbage, drinking and ingested the Adderall pill I had found on the floor at the nut house. (One day when I was walking the halls, I noticed an orange pill that I knew right away was Adderall. I saved it. For this exact reason. For a brief moment in my high and drunkard impairment, I felt nothing. And that was my prerogative. To feel nothing.) She arrived back home that evening with her 'rough around the edges' baby daddy. I was not appearing highly intoxicated because of the chemical balance with the Adderall. I did not sleep at all. I heard the baby daddy's alarm clock at 6:30 as I stared at the ceiling thinking of a plan B to get home.
When Katelyn woke up, I expressed how I desperately needed to shave. I was still continuing to drink. She was unaware. She did not have a razor in her house! I was hairy everywhere after 13 days of no shaving. As you can imagine, the crazy ward does not hand out razors! We left to go to her mom's house which was about ten minutes away. Her mom was not at home. I took a long steaming hot shower. I felt so much better. Then, we went back to her house as she took a nap and I waited for her to ask her grandmother for money. During that time, I watched her baby and cleaned out her nasty car. She woke from her nap and wanted to go eat hibachi in Prattville. We went to eat. After, we stopped back by my daddy's office. I knew my dad had to keep cash there. I was highly intoxicated. I walked in his office and asked the secretary to call my daddy. He did not answer. He was deep-sea fishing. I went to his office and started searching for cash. I did not find any. I then begged the secretary to give me gas money. She told me she could not. My dad had given her strict instructions if I came back not give me no
money. I walked back to his office and took a check he had in one of his drawers. The secretary freaked out. "Hope, you cannot do that. At least tell me how much you are writing it for." (I wrote it for $500) In my mind, I was not stealing because it was my father's, and I could pay him back. I knew she would immediately call the bank to stop the transaction. I had to hurry to get to the bank. I had no identification card on me, so I asked Katelyn to walk into the bank to get it cashed. She did. (I feel bad for dragging that poor girl in on my chaos.) At some point, I walk in, and the secretary had called to stop the check. We run out of the bank. She is scared to death. I assure her my dad would not press charges (Honestly, at that point, I thought he might). After that, I ask her to go to one of my old friend's houses in Montgomery. I would ask them if they could loan me a hundred dollars to travel back to Atlanta. We pulled up and no one is home. I walk around the house then one of my old friend's pulled in her driveway. Katelyn is crying upset as I express, I needed money to get back to Atlanta. We follow her to the bank where she gets out of her car and walks in. In the meantime, I am becoming increasingly paranoid. I get out of the car and run. It is hard for me to think about how psycho my action was, I do not even know what I was thinking-back then, I was not thinking. I was merely trying to survive. The next couple of days-I thank God for watching over me.
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